Cheating in Relationships
Cheating is a term that can be used in many manners and in many different social situations. For some, cheating is used for a competitive advantage in education, sports, gambling or even strength training. Sometime people feel they can get away with it.
However, in personal relationships the psychological and social consequences can be far more adverse. A major issue in defining cheating is in determining exactly what is and what isn't an act of infidelity. In today's society, emotionally involved couples tend to expect sexual monogamy of each other, but with the various titles of relationships—such as marriage, engagement, exclusive dating, open dating and "friends with benefits"—the various forms of cheating are hard to pinpoint. With the expansion of technology, relationship types and the influx of different cultures throughout the United States and other nations, the definition of cheating is constantly changing and under debate.
Many people consider cheating to be a violation of mutually agreed upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, which may or may not include sexual monogamy. In a "committed" relationship, such as marriage, these rules may be stricter, making a larger range of activities considered to be cheating. For many serious couples, cheating is not only limited to a sexual relationship with another individual; sexual thoughts, touching, and talking with someone besides your partner may be just as psychologically damaging for your significant other.
A common belief among those in relationships is that doing anything verbal or physical to another person that you would not carry out in front of your partner is considered to be an act of cheating. As a result, for most committed couples, actions such as kissing, flirting, online chatting and phone sex are all forms of cheating. Because so many actions can be thought of as acts of infidelity, adultery or cheating, couples must work cooperatively at times to set particular relationship limitations to ensure the comfort level of both individual parties.
Because the boundaries of cheating vary so broadly amongst couples across the world, it is important that partners maintain positive communication about the topic. Millions of relationships and marriages have been destroyed by the act of cheating; however, many of these relationships could have been salvaged if both parties openly shared their thoughts, feelings, concerns, and desires. Remember that a relationship takes equal effort from both individuals and that the goals of both partners should be brought forth from the onset of the bonding.
Before you consider cheating, think about the personal harm you may cause to someone you love. If your feelings for your partner are beginning to drift or you feel that you are not ready for a committed relationship, it is better to share those thoughts with your partner than to let them find out you are having an affair with another later down the road. For some, finding out that their trusted partner has cheated on them may cause irreparable emotional damage and may destroy any chance of restoring the connection that was once shared between the couple. It is important to realize that being in a relationship requires selflessness and sacrifice, because you are not only looking out for your own wellbeing, but your partner's as well.
References:
David Callahan. (2004). The Cheating Culture. Harvest Books.