Dating: A History
It is absolutely incredible to look at how the world of dating has changed over the past hundred years. College students have an entirely different way of forming sexual relationships today than in the past. Up until recently, young people would get to know one another and then begin a relationship and move into sexual intimacy. However, now the events seem to go in reverse order. After a night of heavy drinking, two young people often come together and "hook up," meaning that they engage in some form of sexual activity with no promise of commitment whatsoever. Sometimes, this "hook up" will turn into something stable, but the majority of the time it will end after that night. What happened to taking things slowly and really getting to know someone before getting physically intimate?
In the beginning years of the twentieth century, men would "call" upon young women that they were interested in by coming to their home. The two spent time with the girl's parents so that everyone could get to know each other before any formal relationship was established. The woman's family entertained the possible suitor, and if things went well, he was invited back and the calling would continue. The young man and woman were rarely left alone, rendering sexual intimacy almost impossible.
The lower classes really did not have the resources to entertain suitors in their homes, and therefore began going outside the house to spend time together. This is where the term "date" originated. As the years went by, many young members of the upper class grew to dislike the "calling" style, and started rebelling by going on dates like the lower classes. Dating became a common and simpler way to get to know one another once the car was invented. Now young people could go out to a restaurant or to the movies to have some fun, instead of having lengthy discussions with the female's parents.
During the 1920's and 30's, dating became a system of ratings. Women would only accept date invitations from men with money and gifts, and tried to refrain from being seen with the same boy too often. The dating scene among college students was very competitive, especially considering the fact that there were so many more males present. They would have to fight for dates with the most desirable females.
During World War Two and continuing through the 1940's, men were extremely scarce. They were all off fighting the war, many of them perishing. This pushed women to no longer be concerned with popularity, but rather with finding a man to hold on to. A new relationship style called "going steady" emerged. Across college campuses, a typical symbol of "going steady" was for the man to give the girl an article of his clothing to wear, such as a jacket, sweater, or ring. In both "going steady" and "dating" relationships, peers had large influences on the relationship in comparison to the large role of the family in the calling era. As the twentieth century progressed, young couples were more likely to partake in premarital sex inside of these serious relationships.
Around the mid-1960's, a sexual revolution began, in part on the emergence of birth control pills, which made sex safer. This time period is said to mark the end of the dating era, and the beginning of "hooking up." Young adults on college campuses began partying with drugs and alcohol in large groups. This new crowd activity replaced the typical "date night" that existed in the past. People were beginning to have more sexual encounters, due in part to the newly acquired liberal attitudes that the birth control pill allowed. Students were also more willing to have sex outside of committed relationships because birth control was increasingly available. Sex before marriage became more of a norm, and less of a taboo. Oral sex was also on the rise, entering into the lives of many young people. Beginning in the late 1960's, the feminist movement pushed the idea that women were sexual as well as men, and that they had desires and a right to pleasure. All of these factors united to create an atmosphere that appreciated sex and all of the wonderful things about it. Therefore, people became open to having sexual experiences and accepting their inner desires. This new ideology combined with the influences of drugs and alcohol to create an environment where people felt comfortable expressing their sexuality. Out of this came the practice of "hooking up," or participating in sexual acts outside of relationships. Now, this practice is seen widely on college campuses. It has taken the old dating routine and reversed the order of events. "Hooking up," from kissing to oral sex to intercourse is the new trend for young people, and students will tell you that the traditional "date" is long gone.
References:
Bogle, Kathleen. Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus. New York: New York University Press, 2008.