How to Ask Your Partner to Get Tested For STDs
Asking your partner to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases is a very sensitive subject. Many individuals may take this request the wrong way and assume that you think they are dirty or sleep around a lot. By clearly communicating your reasons for wanting to get tested, and getting tested with your partner, you can demonstrate to your partner that you are looking out for both of your safety. One of the best times to discuss getting STD tests is right after sharing your sexual histories with each other. After sharing your past with your partner, you may want to explain that in order to make sure that you are both safe, maybe you should get tested together. Offer to get tested yourself, no matter how many sexual partners you have had in the past (even if you have been tested recently), because this shows your partner that you are also looking out for his or her well-being. This may also help your partner to see that you do not believe that only people who are dirty or sleep around too much need to get STD tests. It is important to remember that it takes up to six months for signs of some STDs to appear (such as HIV), thus the tests may not be fully accurate if either of you have not been abstaining from sex for at least six months. This also means that you and your new partner should use a condom or not engage in sexual behaviors that put you at risk for STDs until you are both able to get tested and find out that you are both clear of STDs.
Real ways that individuals have asked their partners to get tested for STDs:
I informed my new boyfriend that I have this policy about when I date guys. Before I take any sexual risks we both wait until six months after our last sexual encounter and get tested together so that we are safe. I try and make sure that my partner knows that I am not trying to convey that I think he is dirty, or anything I am just ensuring that we are being safe. It also helps that I tell him this is what I do with every potential partner, this way he feels that I am not singling him out.
- Anne
When I asked my girlfriend to get tested for an STD, I actually offered to get tested first myself. I thought that if I told her that I wanted to get tested so that we could be sure that we are safe, she would feel more comfortable when I asked her to come with me and suggested we both get tested together. She did not take it offensively and seemed happy to know that I cared about her safety not only my own.
- Matt