How to Tell Your Partner if You Have an STD

There are two main situations in which one person might have to tell a partner that the first person has a sexually transmitted disease. The first person has an incurable STD (such as HIV, herpes, or HPV) and needs to tell a new partner before engaging in any sexual behavior. One of the two people finds out that he or she has an STD (curable or incurable) during an existing relationship. In both of these situations, it can be frightening to tell a partner for the fear of rejection. However, finding the best way to communicate this information to a partner may help the partner be more understanding, no matter how he or she finally reacts to it.

Telling a new partner about an incurable STD:

Living with a sexually transmitted disease is not easy. Since there is a stigma in our society (of being dirty or sexually promiscuous) that is associated with having an STD, many individuals who have an STD fear rejection by new partners. Yet it is still very important that you share this information with a new partner, and in some states it is a crime to engage in sexual activity without informing your partner of an STD. Finding a good location where you and your potential partner can talk is important in starting the conversation. Be honest in telling him or her about your STD and in how you believe to have contracted it. Also sharing information about the specific STD that you have may help him or her feel more informed and comfortable. Explain how it is transmitted, and what the symptoms are like for you individually. Try to be understanding of your partner