Sex and Intimacy After Childbirth
Intimacy After Childbirth - When Can We Have Sex Again?
You and your partner have just had a beautiful baby, but you are still wondering when you can have sex again. Don't worry, this is a concern on many parents' minds, and a valid one since intimacy is vital to your relationship. Most medical physicians advise couples to wait between three to six weeks before resuming sex, depending on various situations. Make sure to ask your doctor how long you should wait before engaging in penetrative sexual activity.
The most important factor in determining when sexual activity is appropriate is your reciprocal physical and emotional readiness. Keep in mind that although the doctor may give the "okay," this does not mean that you will want to resume lovemaking at the soonest date. This is okay. Be patient and move slowly and gently. Recovery time varies among women, and penetration may still be painful. Also, changes in hormone levels after childbirth and during breastfeeding may lower your libido, decreasing your sexual desire.
Common Worries and Concerns
Both men and women have worries that may affect sex after childbirth. For example, some fear another pregnancy or are worried about either inflicting or receiving pain. Fatigue and exhaustion of both partners may also contribute to a low libido. Many women worry that their bodies are no longer attractive. Keep in mind that these are only a few of the many concerns partners have, but there is one important solution: COMMUNICATE with your partner. Talk to your partner about your feelings and discomforts. This will improve not only your sex life but also any newly discovered anxieties about having a baby.
One concern that might be affecting your sex life is the possibility of another pregnancy. Talk to your partner and your doctor about proper forms of birth control. Keep in mind that breastfeeding is not a reliable form of birth control. Also, if you are breast feeding, you should not use combination birth control pills, a vaginal ring, or monthly shots. Talk to your doctor about what form of birth control is right for you. If breastfeeding, some acceptable forms of birth control include condoms, spermicidal creams, IUDs, diaphragms, cervical caps, progesterone-only birth control pills, and shots of progesterone. Generally, when deciding on a birth control method while breastfeeding, consider the non-hormonal methods first. Please take a look at the contraception portion of our website for a description of the different methods of birth control. It is best to speak to your doctor before choosing a reliable and safe method of birth control.
If penile-vaginal sex is still uncomfortable, try other alternatives. Talk to your partner about mutual masturbation and sensual massages. Think about taking baths together or participating in a massage class. Make time to relax together. These activities help to increase intimacy as well as sexual desire.
Sex Tips
- Use a water-based lubricant. Changes in hormone levels often decrease vaginal lubrication, so a water-based lubricant can help.
- Nap time! If possible, plan to have sex during your baby's nap break! This way you and your partner can work around your baby's schedule.
- Pelvic exercises. If you are worried about the function of your sexual parts after childbirth, pelvic exercises will help to get you back into sexual shape!
- Staying intimate. Take a bath together or hire a babysitter for a night out to dinner. Retaining intimacy is something many couples tend to lose after childbirth, but it is extremely important.
- Talk your partner through sex. Tell your partner exactly what you feel. Do not be afraid to tell him where it hurts, especially if you have had an episiotomy.
- Use comfortable positions. Try to use positions that don't put pressure on your stomach or other sore areas. If the woman is on top, she may have better control over what feels good and can avoid what does not.
- Boost her self esteem. Men, tell your partner that you still find her sexy. Many women have a low sex drive because they are uncomfortable with their body after giving childbirth.
So are there any benefits to having sex after childbirth?
Actually, yes! The hormones that are released during sex have been shown to help the uterus return back to its normal shape! So, as long as you are physically and emotionally ready, feel free to have sex after childbirth. Use these tips to keep the intimacy in your relationship alive!
References:
Hooper, A. (2003). Sexopedia: everything you wanted to know (1st ed.) London: DK Publishing
Birth Control While Breast Feeding. Accessed 3/5/2008.
Sex and Birth Control After Childbirth
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