Deep-Throating During Oral Sex

 

Deep-throating is a more intense variation of performing fellatio—more commonly known as a “blowjob” or “giving head.” Deep-throating is the act of putting as much of the penis into another’s mouth as possible, often triggering the gag reflex. Avoiding the gag reflex requires muscle control and a willing nature.1 It can be intimidating for most people performing the act, but by learning effective techniques and practicing beforehand, much of that pressure can be relieved. There are several remedies which can make this act easier and more pleasurable for both the giver and the receiver: breathing, positioning, practicing, and communicating.

As with other forms of oral sex, deep-throating can either be done with the intention of future vaginal or anal penetration or not. It can also be performed on a toy for sexual pleasure, either alone or with a partner, between two females, or if the receiving partner likes to wear a strap-on and receive fellatio. As with any sexual act of penetration, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can still be transferred between parties so we suggest using a condom until both parties have been tested. As this is a deeply intimate sexual act, both parties must be sure that they are ready and willing to explore or be explored in this way. It is absolutely essential to receive consent before engaging in deep-throating. Pressuring or coercing someone into oral sex with lines such as “It’s not real sex, you will still be a virgin,” “If you are not going to have sex with me then you should at least go down on me,” or “You got me aroused, you can’t leave me hanging, you owe me this,” cannot lead to a consensual encounter. If both parties are happy and comfortable together, then oral sex can be a great way to be intimate and learn about each other’s turn-ons.2 

Where to Begin

                               

To begin, find a penis shaped object—such as a toothbrush, dildo, unpeeled banana, or uncooked penis-shaped vegetable. Be sure that this object has a solid grip so it cannot become a choking hazard. Wash the object and place a condom over it before attempting to deep-throat it. We strongly discourage the aid of a numbing spray, as they suppress the gag reflex, a natural reaction, that warns one when the penis is dangerously deep in their throat. Slide the object to the back of the throat until it hits the gag reflex. Maintain the breath by calmly breathing through the nose. Hold the object on the gag reflex for around ten seconds while trying to suppress the gag reflex. Be sure to go slowly and be as gentle as possible. Continue to attempt this several more times, but do not attempt to push the object too far—stop before causing the throat to be sore. Repeat this practice as desired without hurting the throat (some recommend two or three times a week). Once comfortable with this, begin to slide the object in and out of the mouth so the object repeatedly hits the gag reflex. Attempt this slowly and gently at first. Continue to breathe through the nose to avoid throwing up. If at any time during the practice the throat grows sore or feels uncomfortable, stop immediately. It is not required to first practice on objects before deep-throating a penis. These are simply suggestions that can help those who are curious to become more comfortable and confident with the idea of doing so with a partner.

I Can’t Breathe!

The best way to avoid triggering the gag reflex is by staying calm and remembering to breathe. While practicing deep-throating—using a dildo, unpeeled banana, or any penis shaped object—practice breathing slowly and relaxing the throat. The more tense the throat is, the more likely it is to gag. Remember to stop whenever needed, and take breaks by going back to regular fellatio to take a breath. The receiver may enjoy the variation, too, so do not be afraid to give the jaw and throat a break! Before going back into deep throating be sure to take a deep breath since breathing through the nose while deep throating is often not enough. Certain positions of the penis in the mouth can also help breathing. Some have found that positioning the penis against the back of their throat while breathing in works well. 

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Once comfortable deep-throating the penis-shaped object, begin practicing with a partner. For the first few attempts, it is recommended for the giver to maintain a position of power by being above the penis while deep-throating and being the one who moves more so that they can control how deep the penis enters the mouth and can better avoid hitting the gag reflex. Both parties must discuss how far each is willing for the penis to penetrate the mouth as well as where the receiver will ejaculate. The receiving partner should never pressure the giving partner to going too deep down the throat or pushing their head closer to the base of the penis.

Begin by performing a “blowjob.” Lick the penis down the shaft towards the base of the penis. This will lubricate the penis and shaft, making fellatio easier. Lubricant, which may or may not be flavored, can be applied to the penis as well. Using the hands to hold the penis at its base, carefully slide the head and shaft down the throat, little by little, as practiced before. The more both parties experiment and communicate together, the better both will become. Slide the penis to the back of the throat until the penis hits the gag reflex. Repeat this and continue to change positions to see what stimulates the gag reflex the least and how sensitive the gag reflex is as well. Practicing can take days or months depending on sensitive the gag reflex is, just as it did when practicing on the penis-shaped object. Try to not be concerned about taking “too long” to feel comfortable with this act; be patient and remember that this is completely normal for this process to take time.

What is the Best Position? 

            

The most important part of deep-throating is positioning. Different methods work best for different people so while practicing, try experimenting with different positions, not only of the head and throat, but of the body as well. Many methods that work well involve keeping the throat and mouth in a straight line, reducing the likelihood of hitting the gag reflex. We suggest adapting any preferred traditional blowjob position. The most effective methods place the performer in control by being on top in a position of power. These include the receiver laying down on their back with the giver’s head above the penis, or having the receiver lay on a bed/chair as the giver kneels in front with their hands on the receiver’s knees and head slightly above the penis. Other popular choices include the giver lying on their back with their head hanging slightly over the bed and the receiver inserting the penis while standing over the giver, or the giver kneeling while looking up towards the ceiling while the receiver inserts the penis from above. With any of these techniques, try to go with the natural curvature of the penis. Remember to relax the jaw and to let the tongue do most of the work. While experimenting with various positions it may be tempting to use the traditional position of kneeling while facing forward and, though this could be the most comfortable during a traditional blowjob, it is usually the most uncomfortable during deep-throating as it is easier to hit the gag reflex. While experimenting, partners should communicate.

Communication Is Key.

Communication is important in any relationship, but it is particularly important when performing sexual activities. Communicate about how far the penis will go down the throat, what to do with the ejaculate, and what positions to try. While deep-throating, communicate and ask the receiver what they like and do not like. The receiver knows their penis and, most likely, what they enjoy. Try to not take any criticism harshly, just remember that there is bound to be something at least one party does not enjoy—but they will never know unless they both try! Do not allow the receiver to push the giver’s head closer to the base of the penis—no matter how erotic the situation gets—as that can be dangerous for both since the giver could gag, choke, or experience jaw lock. A natural position of power for the giver (such as holding the head above the penis) allows a safer environment since the giver control how far they insert the penis.3

What About the Ejaculate?

 

In addition to discussing positions and how deep to insert the penis, it is also important to discuss what to do when the receiver ejaculates. This should be discussed before deep-throating begins and, again, before the receiver ejaculates to ensure both parties arecomfortable with the decision. Some couples choose for the receiver to ejaculate into a towel or tissues, in the performer’s mouth, or on their body. Ejaculation on the face is known as a facial, and must be performed carefully and with full consent to avoid causing pain to the eyes. If pregnancy is a concern, it is important to ejaculate away from the vulva to prevent pregnancy. Swallowing the ejaculate will not cause pregnancy and only amounts to less than five calories.Whatever decision is made, reaffirm that decision before ejaculation.  

If swallowing the ejaculate is the preferred choice, there are methods both parties can use to make swallowing the ejacluate more plasurable for the giver. A healthier lifestyle for the receiver can improve the taste of the semen. Smoking, consuming alcohol, meats, and asparagus make semen less palatable. Some believe that eating pineapples, apples, or drinking fruit juices can make sperm taste sweeter. Some have also reported that eating large amounts of celery makes semen taste less salty and bitter. Many personal accounts online state that meats, dairy, deep fried foods, coffee, alcohol, asparagus, and cigarettes make semen taste worse. Of course, taste is subjective, so what may taste bad to one person may taste great to another. However, it may be worthwhile to experiment by adding or removing the foods noted above from the receiver’s diet to see if the giver notices any positive change in taste. 

To make swallowing the ejaculate easier, sipping a strong-flavored drink through a straw immediately after swallowing it. Some recommended drinks are: grape juice, chocolate milk, and iced tea. Other people prefer sucking on a candy or mint while performing oral sex. Another option is masque strips. Masque strips are dissolvable flavor strips that can put in the mouth 15 minutes before performing oral sex. These strips come in four flavors: strawberry, watermelon, mango, and chocolate. Many report that these strips masque a significant portion of the taste.

What about Condoms?

Condoms come in all different kinds of flavors, from mint and cola to apple and vanilla, so partners can choose whatever sounds best! A great advantage of using flavored condoms is that they offer protection from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) that can be contracted from oral sex. These STIs include: gonorrheachlamydiaHPVHIV, and herpes. If you have not already, it is a good idea for both parties to get tested for STIs before continuing to engage in oral sex, just to be safe. Many of these STIs are asymptomatic, meaning that they have no noticeable symptoms, so being tested is the only sure way to know that both parties do not have any STIs. Many people find talking to their partner about STIs challenging, so to learn about ways to talk to a partner about getting tested, click here

What's Next?

Once comfortable with these techniques and basics, focus on more intimate details. The basic movement of inserting and then removing the penis from the mouth can be enough to stimulate the receiver, but additional moves can make it even more erotic. The hands andtongue are useful and effective, especially as the jaw and throat begin to grow sore. Cup one hand around the base of the penis and lightly squeeze to send blood flow to the tip of the penis—which is also the most sensitive part. Use this advantage: to take a break from deep throating, use the tongue and stimulate the corona and frenulum (the ring shaped end of the head of the penis and the V-shaped piece of skin on the underside of the penis), as these are the two most erotically sensitive parts of the penis. 

If the penis has foreskin (is uncircumcised) be careful not to pull too tightly on the foreskin. Additionally, cup the hand around the base of the penis the entire penis does not enter the mouth, but rather only the part which the hand is not grasping. This may produce a lot of saliva, especially while deep throating, and there unfortunately is not much to do to stop this, but use it as an advantage and use the saliva as lubrication. Going slowly also makes fellatio easier, and waiting to insert the entire penis in your mouth until they are approaching orgasm, can help the partner’s orgasm be even more powerful. Being patient and not going all the way at first can actually be better for both parties. Try having the receiver flex the penis while it is in the mouth as some have found that both parties enjoy this experience—but not for too long as it is easier to perform fellatio with a pliable penis. On this note, most recommend beginning fellatio—and especially deep throating—once the penis is a little hard as it is more difficult to begin when the penis is completely flaccid.

Concluding Remarks

Deep-throating is a deeply intimate variation of oral sex. It requires practice, patience, control, and communication. Safety is a real threat with this form of fellatio so be sure to only insert the penis as deep as the giver feels is comfortable. Begin by practicing with a penis-shaped object and slowly practicing over the course of a few weeks. Then, attempt various positions of both the body and mouth/throat alignment. Take breaks by returning to a typical “blowjob” to allow a breath, and the partner some variation. Discuss comfort levels with insertion, positioning, and ejaculation. There are several methods to deal with the ejaculate before, during, or after swallowing. This can be a deeply intimate experience for a couple if practiced safely.

References

1. Leder, S B. “Gag Reflex and Dysphagia.” Head & neck, U.S. National Library of Medicine.

2. “How to Have Oral Sex.” AVERT, 19 Oct. 2017.

3. Levay, Simon. Discovering Human Sexuality. Sinauer Associates, 2016. 

Last Updated: 2 December 2017.

Category: