Phone Sex

Phone sex, or describing the act of sex over the telephone, may seem a daunting or uncomfortable task, but phone sex can by a healthy part of a long-distance relationship, or a tool or those simply looking to spice up their sex life. Because communication is more important than physical contact for phone sex - especially when compared to typical conventional intercourse - it can also help couples learn new things about each other's sexual preferences and fantasies.


Engaging in Phone Sex

Beginning phone sex can be intimidating, as it requires not only being comfortable with speaking sexually, but speaking sexually over the phone. As with any new performance art, be prepared to feel silly at first. This is common, and it helps to be okay with it!  Just relax, and have fun! 

Enjoy sharing your sexual desires with your partner: Detail explicitly what you want to do with them, and ask them to do the same. If you need inspiration, some erotic literature may prove inspiring.

Try incorporating masturbation: Tell your partner what you're doing or how you like it. You could say “I’m imaging you as I'm stroking myself” or “I’m getting wet.”1 Moaning and sighing may help arouse both yourself and your partner. If you are having trouble with the “dirty talk,” you may decide to become sexually aroused prior to picking up the phone, as this may ease your transition to a sexual state of mind.


Commercialized Phone Sex

Paid phone sex services provide customers with an “operator” who will participate in phone sex with them. These services are often advertised on late night television, in pornographic magazines, or online. Phone sex hotlines usually feature performers who will take calls at their place of business or - more often - in their own homes, first processing client payment information and verifying that the client is of legal age (18 years old in the U.S).  Some individuals choose to provide independent phone sex services, establishing online sites that highlight their physical characteristics, age, abilities, and fetishes as a phone sex operator. While private phone sex operators may only offer limited features and abilities, larger companies hire a vast selection of operators in order to provide their customers with an appropriate match for their kink.2 There are an enormous amount of kinks and fetishes that exist in society today that phone sex operators should be familiar with and prepared for; operators may want to establish limits with their customer if he or she is uncomfortable with certain fetishes. Due to the presence of some controversial and illegal kinks, such as bestiality, incest, or pedophilia, phone sex operators reserve the right to say “no” or disconnect a call if they feel uncomfortable with the conversation.3

The idea of a phone sex hotline that matches two customers with the same desires could be the biggest breakthrough in the phone sex industry yet. Unfortunately, this kind of service is likely unavailable due to the disproportionate amount of male customers to female customers. As long as men continue to be the vast majority of phone-sex-service users there will remain a need for paid operators to satiate their sexual desires.



  1. "How Do I Have Phone Sex?" Cosmopolitan. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2014.
  2. "Phone Sex." Wikipedia. Wikimedia Foundation, n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2014.
  3. Friday, Wednesday Lee. "What I Learned Working as a Phone Sex Operator -- 16 Surprising Secrets of the Trade." Alternet. N.p., 26 Feb. 2013. Web. 25 Feb. 2014.
  4. "The Pros & Cons Of Phone Sex." Jezebel. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Jan. 2014.

Last Updated: 13 March 2014.