What are some tips for having sex on your period?

 

Because we were unsure if you were referring to a pad or a tampon (interestingly, many people refer to tampons as “pads”), we would like to address both products. In this response, we will refer to the product that lines the underwear as a pad and the product that is inserted into the vaginal canal as a tampon. Pads, because they are worn externally on the underwear, do not interfere with penile-vaginal intercourse, but they also do not prevent blood from leaking out of the vagina and getting onto your partner.

While tampons should NOT be worn during penile-vaginal sex, they can be worn during other forms of sexual activity that do not involve the vaginal canal (such as anal and oral sex) as a pleasant and discreet way to prevent leakage. We do not recommend having penile-vaginal intercourse while wearing a tampon because the penis can push the tampon far into the vaginal canal during penetration and cause irritation. There is also a risk of the tampon being pushed so far into the vagina that you will not be able to retrieve it yourself. In this case, you would have to visit a doctor to have it removed.

Fortunately, there is an alternative solution that can be worn during penile-vaginal sex and prevents any blood from getting onto your partner: the menstrual cup! The menstrual cup is a small, flexible cup-shaped device that is inserted into the vagina against the cervix and catches all menstrual flow. This product prevents any blood from leaving the vagina and/or getting onto your partner because it catches the blood and holds it at the cervix; this way menstrual blood never even enters the vaginal canal. Also, because it is inserted so deeply into the vagina, it is not felt by you or your partner during penile-vaginal sex. We hope this response was helpful and urge you to write in with any more questions that may arise!

If you would like to see our article dedicated to sex on your period, please click here.

If you would like to learn more about the menstrual cup and other menstrual products, please click here.

 
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My partner and I would like to try anal sex, how should we prepare?

Anal sex can be a very pleasurable and exciting experience for both partners, if done properly, and should never be done without each partner's consent.

It is important to remember that the anus is very different from the vagina; it does not self-lubricate, it does not lengthen to accommodate a penis when aroused, and it houses many potentially dangerous bacteria. Before attempting anal sex, be sure to communicate with your partner to establish ground rules and make sure she or he is participating of her own free will.  Also, be sure to have plenty of lube and condoms on hand. It is a good idea to have her empty her bowels and clean her anus before participating in order to lessen the chance of spreading bacteria.

When you and your partner are ready to begin, be sure to lubricate the anus generously. The anus is controlled by two sphincters, one of which is involuntary and stays closed. Make sure your partner is relaxed and, before attempting to insert your penis, try gently pushing on the constricted sphincters with a clean, well-trimmed finger (to prevent the spread of bacteria, use a latex glove) to coax the sphincter to relax and loosen. Once your partner is ready, and with plenty of communication and lubrication, you can slowly and gradually begin to insert your finger, a sex toy, or a penis (always use a condom!).  Remember, slow and steady wins the race!  Trying to force anything into the anus without proper lubrication and relaxation can cause small tears in the anal tissue, which is not only painful for the receiving partner, but leads to the transmission of bacteria and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), including HIV/AIDS. Again, using a condom during anal sex is an absolute necessity!

After anal sex, you should never try to insert the penis into her vagina or mouth without thoroughly cleaning your penis, disposing of and replacing the condom in order to prevent serious infections.

To learn more about anal sex, click here:

To learn more about condoms, click here:

 
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No. The oral type of herpes (herpes simplex I) usually infects the mouth. However, it can still affect other areas of the body, including the genitals. Herpes infections are extremely contagious, especially when a sore is present. It is important to steer clear of oral sex and kissing until the sore heals completely. It is also important to not use spit while masturbating, as you may infect your own genitals if you are not careful. Use other forms of lube until the sore completely disappears.

 
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Yes. Cold and flu germs are spread from the nose and mouth, not sexual fluids. Being sexually active is technically ok, but there is a high chance of transferring your cold to your partner since you are in such close quarters. It is wise to abstain from all sexual activity for a few days. If it is a sickness that may be cured through antibiotics, you are usually not contagious 48 hours after starting antibiotics. However, we are not doctors so it is wise to check with them before engaging in sexual activity. If you are going to have sex, consider positions where you are not directly face-to-face with your partner (such as doggie-style) to avoid kissing them or spreading germs.

 
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No. Sex before a Pap smear may irritate the vaginal issue, increasing the chances of receiving a false positive test result. The test may indicate the presence of a problem when there is not one. A woman should abstain from vaginal intercourse for 48 hours before seeing her gynecologist. It is also recommended for women to avoid receiving oral sex as well to ensure accurate test results.

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Yes. A woman most likely will not transmit a yeast infection to her partner during sex since it is NOT an STI. However, using protection is recommended if one partner has a yeast infection. That way, partners will not reinfect each other with the infectious form of yeast that may have caused the original outbreak. A male partner may experience some itching, but yeast infections do not grow on dry skin (like that of the shaft of the penis). Yeast organisms thrive mostly in warm, moist environments. Meaning that two female partners may want to abstain from sexual activity to prevent the reoccurrence of symptoms. Also, sex may aggravate the already existing symptoms of a yeast infection, but will not worsen an existing condition.

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Yes. A UTI is not contagious. Having sex will not delay the healing process once antibiotics have been started. However, friction on already-inflamed tissue may worsen the symptoms of the UTI. Having sex with a UTI will not pose any health risks, but may be slightly uncomfortable. Do what feels right for you body.

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What are the dangers of giving/receiving fellatio (blowjob)?

Giving or receiving fellatio, more commonly referred to as a “blowjob” or “head,” has the potential to be both a safe and rewarding sexual experience if both partners are prepared and communicate well with each other. All partners involved should voice their concerns and preferences prior to engaging in fellatio. Furthermore, each person should feel comfortable talking with his or her respective partner during fellatio if a problem does arise. Common problems that occur during fellatio include, but are not limited to, harming the penis with one’s teeth, a male partner forcing his penis deeper into their partner’s throat/mouth, or a male partner ejaculating into the other partner’s mouth without warning. Note, upon reaching orgasm a male can either withdraw his penis from his partner’s mouth or ejaculate into it. The recipient’s partner should voice his or her preference prior to sexual engagement to avoid unnecessary confusion and harm.

Beyond personal preferences, those planning to participate in fellatio should be aware that oral sex allows for transmission of sexual infections, and proper barrier methods should be used to prevent this. The receiving partner should always wear a condom during fellatio in order to prevent passing any sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to his partner. Furthermore, we recommend all partners get tested for STIs prior to engaging in any sexual activity, so that when they do engage in sexual activity they will be aware of the risks and use proper protection. We encourage you to read our oral sex article if you desire further knowledge on the subject.

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Can I have sex while I have a tampon in my vagina?

We do not recommend having penile-vaginal intercourse while wearing a tampon because the penis can push the tampon far into the vaginal canal during penetration and cause irritation. There is also a risk of the tampon being pushed so far into the vagina that you will not be able to retrieve it yourself. In this case, you would have to visit a doctor to have it removed. While tampons should NOT be worn during penile-vaginal sex, they can be worn during other forms of sexual activity that do not involve the vaginal canal (such as anal and oral sex) as a pleasant and discreet way to prevent leakage. Fortunately, there is an alternative solution that can be worn during penile-vaginal sex and prevents any blood from getting onto your partner:  the menstrual cup. The menstrual cup is a small, flexible cup-shaped device that is inserted into the vagina against the cervix and catches all menstrual flow. This product prevents any blood from leaving the vagina and/or getting onto your partner because it catches the blood and holds it at the cervix; this way menstrual blood never even enters the vaginal canal. Also, because it is inserted so deeply into the vagina, it is not felt by you or your partner during penile-vaginal sex.

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I am overweight and my partner and I want to try positions other than the missionary position. Any suggestions?

There are sex positions other than missionary (such as side-by-side or big flying legs) that may be fun for you and your partner to try out. Starting the doggie-style position while lying down may help you two achieve vaginal penetration. You can also use pillows to aid you in raising your hips or buttocks depending on which position you are in. You and your partner can also change up your usual routine by experimenting with oral sex, manual stimulation, and sensual massages; these techniques can help you learn more about your partner’s body and are usually very pleasurable for the receiving partner. Exploring and learning about each other’s bodies can be a very romantic and rewarding experience. Also, If you are interested in adding more spice to your sex life, we suggest adding toys such as vibrators or handcuffs. However, you and your partner should discuss the use of sex toys before introducing them into the bedroom to determine which toys and behaviors you two are comfortable with. We also suggest engaging in activities together outside of the bedroom, such as exercising together, in order to become more comfortable with each other and deepen your relationship. Exercise has been proven to increase couples’ satisfaction with their sex lives, as well as increase an individual’s confidence and stamina. You can read more about how exercise can benefit your sex life here. The most important part of trying new things in the bedroom is communication with your partner. If you and your partner are willing to step out of your comfort zones together to strengthen your sexual relationship, you two can definitely have a more adventurous and satisfying sex life!

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I don’t enjoy G-Spot stimulation from my partner. What should I do?

First, we would like to emphasize that you should never feel pressured into any activity that you are uncomfortable with. Being unable to relax during G-spot stimulation may be preventing the results your partner wishes to achieve. Communicate with your partner, and tell him or her that at this point in time, you would rather not experiment with G-spot stimulation. If you have specific reasons why you are uncomfortable with it, sharing them may help your partner better understand your feelings. You can try brainstorming with your partner to incorporate another activity that you are both excited about into your sex life.We encourage you to read more information about the G-Spot here in the hopes that you will feel more at ease!

When exploring G-spot stimulation, we recommend that you first test out the region on your own. This way, you can have a better idea of how to guide your partner to pleasuring you. Some females describe the orgasm from G-spot stimulation as much more intense and heated than a clitoral orgasm, while others may feel little sensation or even discomfort.

If you enjoy self-stimulation, you can begin exploring the region with your partner. Relax and think about something that arouses you as you have your partner slip their fingers into your vagina and feel along the vaginal wall. You can guide their finger motions, telling them which maneuvers you enjoy best. You can ask him or her to massage the spot in slow circles; touch it in a  “come here” motion, a figure eight pattern; or tap rapidly with force. You and your partner may also find greater success by elevating your pelvic area with a few pillows beneath your butt. This can provide them with greater access to the region by changing the angle of penetration. Make sure to communicate with your partner so you can guide them towards what feels best for you! If you enjoy oral stimulation from your partner, you may enjoy blending manual stimulation of your G-spot with oral stimulation of your clitoris.

After experimenting with your partner, if you still do not enjoy G-spot stimulation, do not be discouraged! Each woman experiences sexual sensations differently. While some women are capable of orgasms with G-spot stimulation, others are not and may feel discomfort. In either case, this situation has opened up communication and exploration between you and your partner.

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Can my partner die from anal sex?

Only under very extreme circumstances does death occur from anal sex. For instance, penetrating the anus with a very large object (i.e. an unreasonably large dildo) and no lubrication may perforate (puncture) the colon and cause serious complications that could ultimately lead to death. However, by taking precautions and being considerate of your partner, this should not be a concern.

It is important to remember that the anus is very different from the vagina; it does not self-lubricate, it does not lengthen to accommodate a penis when aroused, and it houses many potentially dangerous bacteria. Before attempting anal sex, be sure to communicate with your partner to establish ground rules and make sure she or he is participating of their own free will.  Also, be sure to have plenty of lube and condoms on hand. It is a good idea to have them empty their bowels and clean their anus before participating in order to lessen the chance of spreading bacteria.

When you and your partner are ready to begin, be sure to lubricate the anus generously. Make sure your partner is relaxed and, before attempting to insert your penis, try gently pushing on the constricted sphincters with a clean, well-trimmed finger to coax the sphincter to relax and loosen. Trying to force anything into the anus without proper lubrication and relaxation can cause small tears in the anal tissue, which is not only painful for the receiving partner, but leads to the transmission of bacteria and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), including HIV/AIDS. Again, using a condom during anal sex is an absolute necessity!After anal sex, you should never try to insert the penis into a vagina or mouth without thoroughly cleaning the penis, disposing of and replacing the condom in order to prevent serious infections.

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Is it okay to swallow semen?

Semen is perfectly safe to swallow as long as the neither of the participants do not have any sexually transmitted infections (STI’s). About one percent of semen is sperm. Semen is full of protein, minerals like zinc and calcium, some fructose sugars and other nutrients necessary to create life. However, swallowing semen has little nutritional value. It has few calories and its nutrient content is much lower than the recommended daily amount for the average human. To learn more about swallowing your partner’s ejaculate, click here.

 
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What is the best way to make another man orgasm?

There are many ways for men to achieve orgasm, but every individual is different. For this reason, we suggest that good communication is most important for ensuring that you and your partner will have the best experience possible. First, it is important to always receive a clear and exuberant “YES” from any and all partners. Similarly, it is important to recognize that consent can be withdrawn at any time during sexual activity. That is, if there comes a point when a person becomes uncomfortable and wishes to stop the activity, they have the right to withdraw their consent at any time. One way for men to achieve orgasm is through manual stimulation of the penis, commonly referred to as a “handjob.” It is common for a partner to use one or both hands to grip the penis, and move the hand(s) in an up-and-down motion to stimulate the penis. Some men also enjoy having their testicles involved in the stimulation. A partner may gently cup or tug on the testicles with one hand, or rub them. As always, partners should communicate about what feels best and what they feel comfortable doing.

Another pleasurable activity, closely related to manual stimulation, is mutual masturbation. When performed with a partner, mutual masturbation can be a fun and intimate activity. You can stimulate your partner, or you can touch yourself in the presence of your partner. You can also masturbate together, or stimulate one another at the same time. Not only is this activity enjoyable, but it can also be a very educational experience. You may learn the likes and dislikes of your partner by observing the techniques they use to pleasure themselves during masturbation. There are several things you can do to make mutual masturbation more enjoyable. First, make sure your partner is comfortable with the idea of masturbating together. Some people may think masturbation is a private practice; others may be thrilled to share the experience. Second, we recommend that you and your partner have some artificial lubricant handy. It may not be necessary, but it can be especially useful if you and your partner are going to engage in a long period of sexual activity. (Experimenting with different brands of lube may be a fun experience as well!) Last, as with any sexual activity, practice safe sex. If you plan on touching your partner in ways that could transmit bodily fluids, be sure to use a barrier method of birth control. Also, it is wise to wash your hands before manually stimulating yourself, or a partner, to avoid spreading any germs or bacteria from the hands to the genitals.    

Another way men can achieve orgasm is through oral stimulation, commonly referred to as fellatio or a “blowjob.” A male’s partner can stimulate him orally by licking and sucking on his penis and testicles. The glans, frenulum, corona, and penile shaft are all highly sensitive, so many people like to focus on these areas. To bring your partner more pleasure, you can try encircling his penis with your mouth and moving it in and out. Teeth can cause a great deal of pain and discomfort, so the lips should be the main source of pressure on the penis. As the male gets more aroused, his partner can move the penis deeper into the mouth/throat, or speed up the pace of the in-and-out motion. If the partner is not comfortable moving the penis deeper into the mouth, he may place his hands around the base of the penis and move them up and down simultaneously with the mouth. This will create a similar sensation. When performing fellatio, it is important to know what you and your partner are going to do once he reaches orgasm. This is something that is best discussed beforehand. The male can withdraw his penis, or he can ejaculate into his partner's mouth. If he withdraws from the mouth, his partner can continue to stimulate the penis with their hands until ejaculation. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be spread through oral sex, so we would like to remind you to always use a barrier method of contraception.

Finally, anal sex is another way that men can achieve orgasm. This is caused by the stimulation of the prostate gland, which is located about two to three inches inside the rectum, directly below the bladder. Anal sex can be highly pleasurable for some men, but we do recommend practicing caution when engaging in it. Anal sex can be an extremely risky sexual act if the necessary precautions are not taken because the anus has no ability to produce a natural lubricant, so any tears that occur in the delicate anal tissue become direct pathways into the body for STIs and viruses. It is therefore incredibly important to use a condom at all times during anal sex. Also, be sure to use lube generously and proceed slowly when beginning anal sex in order to avoid any rips or tears in the anus.

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