What Happened to Me?

Question:

Dear Sexperts,

I stayed with a friend and family member in a hotel room. We were only making out and touching. I then passed out completely for at least 2-3 hours. I had been drinking, but I was not drunk. When we got up from the bed, there was blood on the mattress. Since the sheets were off, I did not know if it was possible for me to have been raped, while I was passed out. There was no consent. When I went to the bathroom, I could not find blood on myself. I did not feel like I was bleeding when I was asleep either, but could I still have bled? I asked my friend if we had sex, and he said no. I do not trust him though. Is it possible to know if I had sex? Two weeks later I got a urinary tract infection, having all of the symptoms, including stinging sensations when I urinated and bleeding after. After that, I had my period, which seemed redder than usual and only lasted three days. The timing was off by four days and I am confused why that happened. My vagina feels different, my opening feels bigger, and my clitoris feels bigger too. I am really scared and do not have anyone that I can trust.

-Female, 19, CA

Answer:

Firstly, we would like to offer you our condolences. We understand that situations like these are confusing and scary. Please remember that no one ever asks to be sexually assaulted, and this is NOT your fault.

Unfortunately there is no evidence to show whether or not you were raped. This does not mean that you should not see a doctor. You can get a medical exam to check for any cuts or abrasions. As well as this, you can get tested for STDs at a hospital or Planned Parenthood. Both of these can help ease your concerns and ensure that you are healthy. We recommend that you go see your doctor as soon as possible to get an antibiotic for your urinary tract infection as well. If you were raped, your body would not be physically changed from it. You might just be more aware of your body and feeling, for example, that your clitoris is bigger, when it is not. That being said, continue to be aware of your body, and if changes do occur, feel free to go and see a doctor to express your concerns and treat any issues you may actually have.

The blood on the bed could have come from a number of things. It could have been spotting that happened very briefly. Spotting can be triggered sometimes by taking or changing hormonal methods of birth control, such as birth control pills. It could also have been your hymen, which can break for many reasons, not just sexual activity. It also could be from being raped.

You could have had started your period early or late, not just from being raped. Irregular periods are very common during the teen years. Contracting STDs or changes in weight or hormonal intake (new birth control), can cause irregularity.

You said you were not drunk, but you could have been slipped a date rape drug in your drink. These are clear, odorless, and tasteless. Most exit your system after 24 hours, so it would be impossible to tell if you were slipped one or not.

There are excellent rape crisis centers in California. There is a link below to help you find the one nearest to you. They are completely confidential and can provide you with free counseling, as well as other services such as legal options if you choose to press charges. Even if you are unsure if you were raped, you can benefit from their services. They do not reject anyone and will offer you support.

This website contains the rape crisis centers and phone numbers in California:http://calcasa.org/members/

Also, here is the website for Planned Parenthood

Sincerely,
The Sexperts